Not the most stable person. Emotionally.

I've always struggled with depression. I use to take medicine. I don't know though.  I had trouble taking them when i was younger. I had some nightmares, and other things happen. I struggle with it though. I try not to let things get to me, but that never happens. Something always happens that makes me have something happen. Emotionally. Usually a cry fest. 
For years and especially in the last few years I have not always been the most stable person emotionally. I can be really stupid sometimes. Other than Cry. I've done other things that I'm not always proud of, but I'm learning to control a lot of it. It's not so bad a lot of the times. I have my moments. Where it does it get bad. That I go back to my dumb things. 
I don't handle things correctly mostly. I have a lot going on, but so do other people. I just let things get to me more than other people. When I don't feel good. It's worse than ever sometimes. What I'm going through is no excuse, but things happen sometimes in not good places. Unfortunately things have happened at in public. In the middle of things happening I don't see it as being embarrassed. When I get home I see it as total embarrassment. I just try to be the best person I can. 
Sometimes I stay to myself. Sometimes all I want do is be by my friends cause they are what keep me going other than my faith in God. I'm just so tired of many things going on in my life. Physically emotionally. Every trip to a doctors appointment gets me more and more drained. I wish i didn't have just my mom with me. I really need my people. My friends. My family is important to me to, but sometimes I just want my friends. With all this medical stuff I just want to scream sometimes. It's getting hard on me. i know I'm strong, but sometimes I wonder if I can make it. It's getting to much for me. I'm getting tired of it. I worry about missing my friends when I go in the hospital, but I also don't know how much more I can do of this either.

I'm 29 years old not 12-15 years old.

Around my house my mom treats me so much like I'm not adult. I get so tired of it. Most of the time I am required to do things I don't want to go places I don't want to go like if I wasn't adult. I don't get to make my own decisions. I don't have my own brain. I have to do what I'm told to do. Yes, I still live at home with my parents, but I still think there are some situations where should be able to make my own decisions. I struggle with whether I'm a real adult or I'm a child most days, because of the way I'm treated. It's hard.