My Emotions

I'm a VERY Emotional person. I don't know sometimes I can just crying, and fall apart reallybad. It's gotten worse since I started getting treatment for my back and my open wound. It really all started in January 2014 or 2013 I don't remember. The surgery wasn't originally wasn't until August 2014. Now with all this other stuff going on attached to it. I just can't handle it anymore. I can't take anti-depressed medicine right now, because a lot of those you take a night, and I never know when home health is coming on Monday, Wednesday, Friday for wound vac change. If I'm not in the hospital in the next few weeks, because of my high CRP number. I could use several HUGE distractions. It may or may not help.
I do know hanging with my friends helps a least some, because I might think about it, but its not a the front of my mind. When I'm at home or at clinic AKA doctors appointment I'm kind by myself, and thinking about everything that's going on. 

Some days I feel like all I want to do is crawl up into a ball, and cry my eyes out.  Some days I do at night. If I'm at home. I've even done it in front of several friends.

That's the main reason I'm typing this. Hoping people will understand this. 

I mean I have to figure out the CRP thing, and then get prepared for this summer when I cave and do the flap on my open wound. I've just got a lot going on. I try to not to complain, but sometimes that's the way it sounds like I'm complaining, which that's not the point.